Yesterday I was in my daughters room looking for a part of a Halloween costume and I spotted a garbage bag on the floor. In the bag I found three pairs of expensive shoes that I had purchased for homecoming and prom, as well as an expensive Prada bag and a few other girly items that I had given as holiday gifts a few years ago.
When she got home from work I told her I found her trash and was happy to reclaim the unwanted items. She was fine with this and I was moving on to a new topic when my other child said , “yeah I gave my bag away a couple years ago to someone who really cared about purses.” Emotions set in and I started crying, I went upstairs and tried to be reasonable. I am not about material things and my children have told me I am impossible to buy gifts for. Personally I prefer gifts that require the giver to spend time with me. Why then was I crying about some unwanted handbags?
Both the kids came up to talk to me as they did not like seeing me upset. Over the past year both my daughters have also shared that they do not see themselves as girls so I have been slowly preparing to help them with whatever transition comes . So why was I feeling so emotional? I gave them gifts that I thought they would like, I thought I knew my children, I was so clueless to who they were and who they wanted to be, so I cried.
I am not sure how many years ago I gave them Prada bags and it doesn’t really matter.The youngest leaned over and gave me a hug and said , “its okay mom we are much closer now” I cried because I was only seeing them as I wanted to see them and not as they were met to be.