We all have stories to tell

We all have a story to tell. This is one of mine.

About 15 years ago I was asked along with 20 or 30 other female CEO’s to write an essay sharing what one thing I would like to change about myself. I wrote and re wrote my essay as I wanted to come up with that one great thing I would change about myself that would make me really wonderful. (I suggest everyone try this exercise) Writing this essay was an eye opening experience and helped me see what was really important to me.

Over the years there have always been things I would like to change about myself,  at nine I wanted green eyes and at 16 I wanted breasts at 19 I wanted to be 21 and the list just continued to go on. The things I wanted to change about myself were not really things I could change. At least not at that time! Sure now I could get green color contacts and I could buy myself breast to fill any size cup I want.  But at the time I just wanted the opposite of what I had.  Why then did I only want the impossible? By the end of the essay I had decided that I was really pretty happy with myself and how I  turned out and that I  really didn’t have one thing I would change  about myself . Instead I decided that I wanted to continue to grow as a person, constantly changing from the experiences I share with others.

I have kept a journal since I was a small child. I have been told that my stories are lighthearted.  Years ago I was offered the opportunity to have some of my stories published  but I was not ready to share myself with others. Recently, I was told that some of my stories are motivational and I have been asked to share more of myself to help others.I like to be helpful so I have started to share more of myself.

I have suffered from DEPRESSION for as long as I can remember. I didn’t want to be depressed I wanted to be happy like everyone else. Later in life I was told a pill could help me be happy. I really wasn’t interested in a pill.

 A friend killed herself this weekend.  I am angry and I want to kill depression! 

People who know me are often shocked when I share that I know depression well. Like many others I have learned to wear a mask to hid what I was not ready to share. 


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