Yesterday I was in my daughters room looking for a part of a Halloween costume  and I  spotted a garbage bag on the  floor. In the  bag I found three pairs of expensive shoes that I had purchased for  homecoming and prom, as well as an  expensive Prada bag and a few other girly items that I had given as holiday gifts a few years ago.

When she got home from work I  told her I found her trash and was happy to reclaim the  unwanted items. She was fine with this and I was  moving on to a new topic when my other child said , “yeah I gave my  bag away a couple years ago to someone  who really cared about purses.”  Emotions set in and I  started crying, I  went upstairs and tried to be reasonable.  I am  not about material things and my children have told me I am impossible to  buy gifts for. Personally I  prefer gifts that require the giver to spend time with me.  Why then was I crying about some unwanted handbags?

Both the  kids came up to  talk to me as they did not like seeing me upset. Over the past year both my daughters  have  also shared that they  do not see themselves as  girls so I have been slowly  preparing to  help them with whatever transition comes .  So why was I feeling so  emotional?  I  gave them  gifts that I thought they would like, I  thought I knew my  children, I was so clueless to who they were and who they wanted to be, so I cried.

I am not sure how many years ago I gave them Prada bags and it doesn’t really matter.The youngest  leaned over and gave me a hug and said , “its  okay mom  we are  much closer now”  I cried because I was only  seeing them as I wanted to  see them and not as they were met to be.