BIG flashback to 1986. I was freshly divorced, and broke. A friend told me about an ad she saw in the paper which might be a way for me to earn some quick money. I called the number and was told to come in and fill out some paperwork, schedule some lab work and an interview . If I passed everything I would get a call. Just two weeks later I got a call to go in for the procedure. It was a rather horrible experience but I left with $8000 which was plenty to pay my rent for a few months and figure out what was next for me.

I had a few years of accounting under my belt so the Army seemed like a great way to get out of town on someone else’s dime so I signed up to be a finance specialist.I could go in with some rank and I could get away , far away from where I was.

So much has happened in between 1986 and 2016 I won’t bore you.
2016 however, is the year my youngest offspring asked me to sign up for 23 & me. Peter had signed up a year earlier and the offspring wanted to know what part of their DNA make up was from Dad vs Mom. I hesitated as I knew I had a secret but then I caved on the 23 & me topic and the kiddo got the results and answers to the questions he had.

A few months later I got a surprise, I got an email from 23 & me and the subject line was: You have a new DNA relative
The rest of the email was simple. Relationship : Daughter
We predict that Jane Doe is your daughter. ( I am not listing her name here as it has been almost 2 years and I am just now finally coming around to been open to considering what comes next. )
DNA match 51.9 ( the offspring that requested that I do 23 & me is a 49.9 match? )

You might have guessed the procedure I did back in 1986 was egg donation. I had gone on with my life not ever thinking about it again. I never dreamed that I could be contacted 30 some years later about having a daughter that would want to meet a biological mother. It’s not like I had given up a child for adoption I just gave some eggs.

Here I am in 2018 being asked to go and meet a family that wants to thank me for my gift, A 32 year old girl waits for me to decide if I want to meet her and I can’t seem to figure out what I am afraid of.

Some days I really think my life is a script from a Korean Drama. Today I visited my past. I went to say goodbye to my very first boyfriend. He was just one year older than me and we met only because he dialed a wrong number back in 1979. When I picked up the phone the voice on the other end said , “Hey there can I talk to Ray? I responded rather cheerfully , “No Ray here how can I help you? ” He said, “I just need someone to talk to.” I said, “Well you can call me Ray today if that helps.” We talked for 3 or 4 hours and then he asked me what number he had dialed and if it was okay to call me back. I think we talked every day for weeks before we ever shared our names. Months went by before I got up the courage to tell him where I lived.

It was a short coming of age romance and we parted on good terms. I only bumped into him once more about 20 years ago. Him and a girlfriend where going to build a house across the street from where Peter and I were living. His girlfriend at the time had a fit . She was not going to live 5 houses from his old girlfriend.

He is in Hospice care and his sister called me yesterday and asked if I would come visit. At first I did not want to go.I wanted to remember the 19 year old boy that I fell head over heels for or even the 31 year old that I had bumped into while walking through empty partially built homes in my neighborhood.

I am glad I went. When I walked in he smiled at me and said, “hey Ray, I needed someone to talk to and I thought of you. Thank you for coming. ” I was surprised at how nice it was to visit and to share some funny stories with him and his wife and daughter. Once you have loved someone they really do always have a part of your heart. I told him that he would always have a spot in my heart and that I have only fond memories of him. Well almost only fond memories. There was that one time…. We laughed and cried and hugged and I am happy that I was able to say goodbye to someone who taught me a lot about love.